A Day of New Beginnings

Come Monday, my new life begins...officially at least. My new job as an internal wholeseller at AIG SunAmerica begins sharply at 8 AM. What, you may ask, is an internal wholeseller? My answer would be simple: ask me monday night... if i still can't answer it. Ask me in a few weeks once my training is complete.

Regardless of what this job holds in store for me, it has already served it purpose: tricking a management company into thinking me a fiscally responsible person and allowing me to sign a 1-year rental agreement. My new apartment is located in Santa Monica, ten short blocks from the beach and within 10 blocks of all the nightlife and shopping anyone could ever ask for... all for the price that would make any Manhattanite shake their fist in anger. I move into this beauty (which by the way also has a large patio looking out onto palm trees and a garden) after work on Monday. Pictures will be forthcoming.

buzzzzed smile

buzzzzed smile
Originally uploaded by bowmant.

The much put-off, oft-debated buzz cut has occurred... My Cali transformation is complete

matador beach

matador beach
Originally uploaded by bowmant.

Why stay back east when you can be surrounded by beauty like this?

Matador Beach is in Malibu... and about a 15 minute drive up the PCH from my new apt in Santa Monica

11 Crazy Years

I realized something tonight. I was talking online to my friend JB and she mentioned that she had been in New York for almost seven years. It got me thinking to how long it’s been since I’ve lived in any place for more that 4 years. I would have to go back to seventh grade, or 1994, when I moved to Houston. My life since then is as follows:

Houston – 4 years
Gettysburg – Summer before Senior Year
Baltimore – 1 year
Boston – 4 years
Baltimore – Summer after Freshman Year
Boston – Summer after Sophomore Year
Newport – Summer after Junior Year
Boston/Chicago/Baltimore – Summer after Senior Year
New York City – Almost 2 years
Los Angeles – A little over 3 weeks

Not to mention the insane variety of jobs I’ve had:

Ghosts of Gettysburg – 3 months
Old Navy – 3 months
Starbucks – 3 years
Abercrombie – 2 years
Naval Undersea Warfare Center – 3 months
Camper – 8 months
New York Sports Club – 5 months
French Connection – 4 months
Science Applications International Corporation – 11 months
Town Tavern (bartending) – a few times a month for 4 months
Modelling – 3 (wasted) months

When I go over that bizarre and diverse list of where I’ve been and what I’ve done, it’s no wonder the thought of “growing up” or “settling down” is so foreign to me…

I don’t know if I will even ever be able to…

Unless of course I can find whatever it is I’m searching for…

Some Peace...

What to write, what to write? Do I find that I have nothing to say because my mind is finally at peace or because there is simply nothing going on in my life right now. Every day is the same. Sleep in, eat, TV, gym, TV, eat, sleep, repeat. There are so many things I could be doing. I am in a completely new place with completely new people. Everything thing is new to me. And yet, I do nothing. Why? If I had to answer, I would say its because this is the calm before the storm, the deep inhalation before the race. I know that come August One, when I move again, my real Los Angeles experience will begin. That is when I'll be where I want to be: close to the beach with (hopefully) a year rental agreement signed and with (hopefully) a job that I love. That's a lot of hope. But I don'’t see anything wrong with that. Call me Andy Duphrane: Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things. I know because didn't used to have hope in my life. I had resigned myself to the monotony of adulthood. I had accepted the fact that not everyday will be exciting, new, different. But why? It was this epiphany that set the wheels in motion to get me where I am today. I refused to be like everyone else. At this point, why settle down? Why lock myself into a life I don't want and never wanted? I see people unhappy with their lives and refusing to do anything about it. Not me.

The idea of taking all your possessions, everything you thought you needed and would have forever, and piling them up in the front yard of your god-awful landlord is considered insane. The idea of quitting a good job and moving across the country with no job and no plan is considered insane. The idea of leaving everyone you care about 4000 miles away is considered insane. Well, to me, forgetting happiness and letting your dreams slip into the past unfulfilled is the craziest idea of all. I know it seems that this is all I talk about lately, but I can't help it. It'’s what just about everyone says to me the second I tell them why I moved out here. It'’s only the ones that say congratulations that I continue talking to. I feel I need to surround myself with people who understand why this move had to be done, people who know what I'’m talking about because they did the exact same thing. It's strange, out here, most people feel the same way, but back east, it was totally different. Nine out of ten people thought I had lost my mind. Maybe I did, or maybe I finally found it...but I don'’t regret anything, not one single thing I've done. If you don'’t know what I'’m talking about, come visit...you'’ll understand and, most likely, never want to leave.

Soon to hit

As I look back on my first two weeks on the Left Coast, what do I see. Do I still think this was the best move I could have made? Or do I realize that I never should have left my life in New York? If I am forced to answer the question at this very moment, I would have to say that my feelings reside somewhere in between the two extremes. I know that right now, I am in a state of limbo. I haven't fully settled into my apartment (due to extremely frustrating elements out of my control), I haven't become fully comfortable navigating the city, and, most importantly, I haven't found a job yet. I know that until I find a job, this will continue to feel like an extended vacation, not the life altering move that it truly is. But what do I want to do? Should I try to appease the outside pressures and continue my struggle in the 9 to 5 world, make a comfortable amount of money, but have have 95% chance of being miserable? Or should I go back to the where-will-my-next-paycheck-come-from lifestyle that defined my first year in New York? Questions that I don't want to face ... and the more I face, the further the answers seem to get...

...

On a lighter note, I have been introduced to/discovered some great new bands:

Delays - Faded Seaside Glamour
Doves - The Last Broadcast
South - With the Tides

If you like Brit Indie Rock (and who doesn't!), check them out!